After a gruelling wait of nearly a month and sustained back ache I got my DRIVER'S LICENCE!Man,it was a long wait.I was so bloody sick last week with my back,I couldn't move.Landed up missing college the whole week.
So, on DL-Day,I get up real early(read:7 am),get dressed in conservative clothes.This test is not based on best eye candy,yaar.So,I'm off in the chugging white Maruti 800.Is this the test car that the Driving Institute has sent?Crap,will it go above 40 kmph or what?The driver shakes his head.Ma'am(he says that really smooth,like an angrez),not necessary to cross that speed even in fourth gear?ENNA?(What?)He tells me I should "show" all the gears to the official.Stifling a giggle.Before leaving,ma gets glucose biscuits and mango juice(even though I said no,thanks.)
Have to go to the Institute first.Dingy office.Sophie the receptionist with her "butler English" tells me to meet the owner.Gosh,I hate that creep.Don't get nervous he says.It's all luck and the RTO(Regional Transport Officer) guy's mood.As long as the car doesn't stop and you don't smash into a tree it's okay.Sure,it's okay for you el creepo.
Ma's car I had tried last night and it stopped 7 times!I nearly cried the last time,and so did she except she said you dumkoff why demoralize yourself by driving this 19 year old Maruti Suzuki.Point noted,ma'am.
Went to the place where they take the test next.Race Course Road.Made a few friends due to my incessant banter.First,Mrs.Deivanai(whose husband is in Sharjah and she's leaving soon), then Mary who works in a bank,Mrs Jancy who was thoroughly amused by me humourous observations and finally Poorni who turned up sensibly in a sleeveless kurta.She'd flunked before for switching from the second to the fourth gear.One Mr.Sandalwood paste on his forehead and Lime Green T-Shirt clad round guy turned up too.They took their test in Mr.sandalwood's red maruti 800 which looked like "chandu pottu" colour.All from the same driving school.But there were other driving school people and even private candidates.I saw atleast six schools with Godly names like Vinayakar,Ganesha,Devi, and some other weird ones like True Wish and Excellent Drving school.Gosh!
Waited for 2 hours!Man,got fried,then flipped then fried again.Never going to have eggs again!Then the RTO guys show up and some other driving institute people got ahead of us in the line.Poorni came last and the RTO guy refused to sign her papers.Only 30 people are allowed to take the test everyday.
Nevertheless all my pals being from the same driving school,we boarded 2 cars-an ambassador and the maruti for the test.Some 9 of us.The white maruti(for the test)went ahead,the rest of us followed in the ambi,and between us was the red maruti 800.The official tests all the people from one driving school together.We drive for say 3 minutes and then the next person takes his/her chance.Since we were many(mostly women),3 boarded the maruti first and the rest of us followed in the ambi.None of us wanted an ambi for the test.
The first three were doctor women who took their test first.One babe flunked.Car went off the road.Then we got in.Poorni hoped this guy would give her a chance.She too couldn't bunk college for a retrial.
Mrs Deivanai went and drove well.Only thing is she parked the car some four feet away from the tree.Our frantic driver cum instructor beckoned to me.Only I can swerve enough to take the car back on the right.Was flattered.So took the car out and drove.Was amazed at my own fearlessness.Used all four gears by 40kmph.Then the RTO guy tells me to "lessen the gear".Yeah why not.
Thrilled at the finish!Whew!Next is Jancy.Her mallu accent is damn cute.But her driving is not.The car stops three times!She's at this junction,and doesn't know how to restart it, and tries to start in first gear.It lurches ahead.The driver is muttering and sweating.Then worse still,it starts to head backwards towards the ambi.She doesn't apply the brakes.The official is petrified.Applies the brakes(It's a two way brake and clutch vehicle).Still doesn't start.He asks her to get out.
Now three of us who've finished run back to the ambi and Mary and Poorni board the maruti.Everyone finishes.Poorni gets another chance at her test.We come to know that Jancy has flunked.Her voice gets all choked and she wonders what went wrong.Decides to go home and come back next week.Poor thing.So Mrs.Deivanai and I have got through.We are to go to the RTO office first.The rest will follow.We have glucose biscuits and juice to celebrate.
It's mid afternoon and the RTO wears a deserted look.Everyone's eating.I call up the driver to ask if the rest are coming and he says your ma's getting lunch.Hai Raam..ma's solicitousness really makes me wild and grateful all at once.Hot chappatis and kurma.God bless her!Deivanai eats sparingly.Maybe she's too polite or maybe she hates North Indian food.
Then they all come.The driver says he's going,please find your own way home.In other words,nice knowing your sorry asses, and now that you're getting the licence,astalavista.Not so soon smartie.Tell Sophie to send us a car after we finish.He shrugs non-committally.
Next is photo taking,signing the licence and lamination.My initial comes before my name.Damn,I hate that!I know it's called an initial but I think my name is more important.Plus,my address is misspelt.Anyway,this is India,baby, and the licence is cool.The 3D logo of the State has a maruti on it.Wowie!
Parting time.Got everyone's cell numbers.Almost walked halfway to the busstand when Mary caught me walking.We both live nearby,so she and I caught a rick back home.I overpaid,but it was totally worth it!
Came home and collapsed.Heard some Beethoven.Oh joyful joyful I adore thee,God of Gears and Lord of Licences.Long Live!
